well - it didn't happen

Didn't happen - didn't start - the big "D" overcame me - I'm sure that many of you are familiar with that. Not living life, but going through the motions - getting up (well most days), getting dressed, going to work - and then sitting and staring off into space the rest of the time - or farming pretend cows and chickens and other mind-numbing activities at that place where we click 'like' all the time.

I do think this is the longest time period that I have been depressed for the majority of the time - it's been 2 years - beginning when Scooter died in December of 2010 and continuing now.

But there is always hope - I find myself crying less frequently now - sometimes only once or twice a day which is a BIG IMPROVEMENT.

I have made some positive strides in the past year - I quit smoking - ! that's really big huh? and starting today I'm taking a diet Pepsi sabbatical. 90 days to see if I really do feel better without artificial sweeteners and carbonation.

I've been making attempts at art - I took several classes from the wonderfully sweet Suzi Blu These are really very good classes - I did enjoy them even if I didn't participate much. They have great instruction as well as being a bit inspiring without being so sweet that my teeth hurt. I took a few classes at Craft Edu that were great. I bought tutorials on Etsy and from Christi Freisen - they are all very well written and illustrated. I also started a workshop on the Strathmore website taught by Traci Bautista who is a very good teacher and lots of fun. I bought all the supplies and read all the coursework and went back to harvesting faux corn. I took a class at Scarlet Lime which was totally out of my personal comfort zone but I did learn a few things and actually did a little work -





not the best work but at least I moved a little paint around - but still the art supplies piled up - the work table became a store room - don't believe me? look at this





and so now it is a new year. I've signed up for this STITCHED! - have you heard of it? I'm so happy that I did. I met Alma Stoller several years ago at one of the ArtFiberFests (I loved those so much) - When I saw that she was coordinating this I had to sign right up and today is the first day and I am totally blown away at the quality of this project. IT IS WAY COOL - you need to go there and sign right up - okay maybe not if you don't sew - but you could LEARN TO SEW while you are there - that girl who won Project Runway didn't know how to sew and look at her! Anyway - looking at these workshops got me excited - E.X.C.I.T.E.D. - actually looking forward to something - and so, even though it is almost 3 in the afternoon and I always tell myself that I have to start things in the morning (which is an avoidance technique I think) - I'm going to dive into that pile of art supplies and even if I just shove everything into big plastic tubs ("containerize" it like the wackjob on Clean House said) - I am going to get a flat surface that I'm able to do some work on - and find one of the several sewing machines and one of the several irons and have at it -

and try to come back here and report in less time that I got to posting this.

The BIG NEW PROJECT

Well - things really haven't gotten better. Sweet Sedgewick the Monkey cat died suddenly last week. The sad part of having so many sweet furry children is that they eventually leave us and take a big piece of our hearts with them when they go. We are down to 2 cats and 2 dogs at Casa de Enchy, the fewest fur children that have been in residence in recent memory. We won't be adding any new kids for a while - perhaps not at all. We'll see.

In any event - the BIG NEW PROJECT. When I was so sick in bed in January I had plenty of time to do not much more than think - and think I did. While I was thinking, I was also sometimes listening to the television - kinda. I was also really pretty medicated up. So in this medicated and extremely ill state, I partially listened to a documentary about some artist on the Ovation channel - which artist? who knows (I was sick remember?) But what I did catch was the notion of creating a 'meaningful body of work'. That phrase kept running through my head. Meaningful body of work. And I thought about my own art - and how disjointed it is - I'm made a lot of it, it really doesn't lend itself to the definition I have in my head of a 'meaningful body of work'. There are some pieces that might be termed 'meaingful' but the majority is rather insignificant.

And so I thought about it. I thought long and hard about where I wanted to go with my art - I thought long and hard about just stopping - selling everything off or giving it away and having a tidy, normal house - one that doesn't have an art studio in the living room. One that doesn't have drawers labeled 'bones and wee skulls' or 'large rusty bits'. I thought about that quite seriously. It was like I was at some sort of precipice - live/die; art/no art; go forward/stay where i am. I need to find a focus; a clarity in my work or I needed to just hang it up. I believe the term is 'shit or get off the pot'.

And so I thought about it - some more. Remember I had close to a month in bed fading in and out of dreamland - the fancy honey flavored cough syrup the doc wrote the prescription for; while it cost $75 after my insurance kicked in whatever portion they paid; did indeed give me some much needed rest and great dreams. And the month of my sickness was followed by the time I spent with Charles in the cardiac ICU. You have a lot of time to sit and think when someone you love is hooked to lots of wires and tubes. I thought and I thought. Maybe it was being surrounded by what seemed like constant death as well as my own self dancing on the brink for a bit there myself and Charles actually dying for a bit; but I kept coming back to the same place. Where did I want to go - what did I want to do? I KNEW that I wanted to create a 'substantial body of work'.

And so, I came up with "The BIG project". It's actually called "The Shrine Project". My initial plan was to make 5 shrines a month for 10 years. Yes, I said TEN YEARS. SIX HUNDRED SHRINES In that period of time I just MIGHT come up with a meaningful body of work - If I FOCUS - because through focus we find clarity. Ten years I thought to myself. Really? TEN YEARS? You'll be 66 then I thought. But then the little voice inside me said - you'll be 66 then if you do it or not. Yes indeed - I will be 66 then if I do it or not. I could be 66 and still thinking about where I wanted to go - or I could just go there.

And so begins "The Shrine Project". Of course I'm late starting it because my hands still don't really work - we'll they work, they just hurt all the time. And it's really not my hands, it my fingertips. Every minute of every day they feel like little bees are stinging them - we are working on a medication level to fix them - so far it has brought the pain down from an 8 to maybe a 6 - that is good - 8 was making me suicidal. But I also have decided that my fingertips may very well hurt for the rest of my life and I just have to suck it up.

I haven't touched an art supply since late December - just before I got sick. And not making art didn't make my fingers feel better so I may as well just go forward and see what they can do. They are going to hurt if I use them or not - I might have to adapt, use different tools, different media - but the joy of The Shrine Project is that I can use all sorts of different media and methods. I'll be setting up another blog or maybe a website and there will be an Etsy site to sell the shrines because there is only so much room at Casa de Enchy.

And so this past weekend I got out some supplies - I have to clear 4 months worth of flotsam and jetsam off the work table before I can actually accomplish anything but I have a plan. A minimum of an hour a night after work - no matter how tired I am because we all know that even when we are tired, once we start at our work tables we suddenly are refreshed. And that begins tonight - the day after Beltane - a good time for new beginnings.

I'll keep you posted. Thanks for coming along for the ride. If you want to make some shrines with me I'll create a flickr site for us all. I won't hold you to making 600 though.

xx

enchy

It's been a very long time

Life has been not so great but it's taking a turn upward so I feel I can write again. My beloved Irie died last October, followed quickly by Fuzzle the same month. Frida lost her battle with cancer in November. I had H1N1 flu in late December that turned into pneumonia - I was pretty much in bed for the month of January and then had a reaction to the meds or perhaps from the virus, I developed peripheral neuropathy in my hands - which means my fingertips have felt like bees have been stinging them since the 2nd week of January. In February my beloved Charles had a heart attack, from which thankfully, he has recovered. But the same week he came home from the hospital my sweet boy dog Zeke suddenly died. And my mother has been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer.

Things around Casa de Enchy have been pretty morose. But Spring has arrived (kind of) and the doctors are experimenting with new medications for my hands that haven't gotten rid of the pain, but have made it somewhat more manageable.

A lot of good has actually come from the trauma of the past few months. I've had lots of time to think about art - to plan a 'big new project'. I've developed a compassion and empathy for my mother and her illnesses after being so sick - pneumonia was horrible - terrifying actually, not being able to really breathe. It was awful. And that is how she must feel every day - so now I have an idea of what her life is like and I can be more patient with her. Charles has quit smoking (after 40+ years) and is eating better - he's actually eating vegetables every day! so while his heart attack was not something I would wish on anyone, it has resulted in positive change.

The 'big new project' is still in development in my mind but hopefully, if the meds keep working, I'll be able to start it soon. In the meantime, here's a photo of my newest doll!

Stay tuned.

Think different

A new project

I love taking classes at Joggles.com - I really do. I haven't taken one in a while and signed up for a poly clay class taught by Christi Friesen because I haven't played with clay in a long time and I needed to push myself into doing something new. At first I thought that perhaps this project was too complicated for me, but once I got going I had a blast. Here's what I made.



Pretty sweet huh? And it was lots of fun. Christi teaches lots of classes and I highly recommend taking a class from her if you get a chance. She also has some tutorials on her website - some are free, others are a nominal fee. They are great as well. Since I had the clay out I decided to try one. I made the steampunk bug but since I'm not a steampunk kinda gal, I just substituted rhinestones for the gears!


I'm working on the Luna Moth now. These are really fun little projects that are much easier than I ever thought they'd be. I can't wait for the next class.

back from the edge

Yes, I've been MIA - a rather deep, dark depression overcame me for a few months and I withdrew from life for awhile. But, the fog is lifting and I'm working again on some projects - YAY!

Last month was my annual trip to Artfest - my artgirl Sarah came and hung out at Casa Enchy for a few days around the event and we had great fun, including a side trip to the Mecca for all beaders - Shipwreck Beads.

As is always the case, there were good and not so good experiences at Artfest - most importantly I had a great time with my art girls at Camp Runamuckus and met some new friends and had a lot of laughs. Sure there was art mafia drama - there always is - I don't understand the point of it all - it reminds me of middle school antics. "I won't talk to you because she said that you said . . ." or "she stole my technique" or "that was my idea and she stole it". Folks, I've been on the round earth for a very long time and let me tell you, there isn't much that's new - sure there are some innovative uses of products and sure some people do some very clever things but paintings of sad girls with big eyes and titled heads have been in and out of vogue before and gluing a bunch of found objects together has been around for nearly half a century and when it comes down to it, I just don't understand why more people can't be happy to share and nuture one another. There are lots of women who I know have my back, who are willing and eager to share ideas and encourage one another - but then, there are the others.

It was one of the "others" that got me really thinking HARD about art and craft and who I am and who I am not - She said "I used to really admire your work but now that I know your politics, I don't like it anymore" - huh? I thought about this statement on and off for a few months - my politics? I thought a lot about my public self and my private self - about whether or not my private self should be kept a secret in order to be 'successful' as an artist. I know lots of people who present a pleasant facade at all times - they don't say anything controversial, they are all kumbaya and sweet - they post photos to their blog of beautiful little areas of their home made all soft and fuzzy with photoshop and never say a word about how they 'feel' about anything important (or perhaps they just don't think that there are issues that are worth mentioning) and that works for them but I don't think it works for me - I see too much in the world that is ugly and cruel and if it is my 'politics' to speak out about these things be they related to domestic or foreign policy and simply the way people I know treat one another, then so be it. My politics - particularly with regard to social issues and government are a vital part of who I am - and in turn, what I create.

So that's what has been on my mind as of late - big thoughts - big issues.
Anyway - back to Artfest. I took some fun classes - I didn't really learn much of anything but I did use materials I purchased years ago and never used so that's a good thing in itself.

The first day I took a tin working class with Liesel Lund who is an extremely kind hearted person and a great instructor. I liked her a lot. In this class I did learn something - how to use that little jewelers saw without breaking a bzillion blades. This is what I made - pretty cute huh?




The 2nd day I took Melissa Manley's class - I liked this class too - I particularly liked the way that Melissa explained some of the process - she reminded me of the Alton Brown of jewelry making - drawing little pictures to explain how the metal particles accept the solder - I love that stuff. I wasn't able to do the actual soldering in the class because of the height of the table set up and my arthritis issues but I watched Sarah a LOT so I think I'll be able to do it myself at home where I can set things up at a height that will work for me. This is what I made in this class - again - pretty sweet.

The last day was a class with Lynne Perrella that was interesting. Though I haven't worked with paper in years as I've mostly transitioned to fabric, I was drawn to the class description because of the bright colors and the technique used to apply them. Though we didn't have much time to actually work on our pieces, I got the basic idea of how some techniques were done and will apply them on a different substrate soon. My piece is far from finished and I don't think it will actually get finished because it was really just a learning piece - I might cut it up and reuse it bits of it elsewhere. But here it is. See - she's just rather floating in the air - I can forsee it taking several hours to finish her - she tacked up on the studio wall now looking at me - we'll see what happens with her.

This year, for the first time, I entered some pieces in the gallery show at Artfest and even though the gallery was only open for a very brief period every day, I even sold one. The theme this year was fairy tales.

So you may be thinking "yeah, yeah, yeah - where are the bead?" - they'll be back soon - I promise.

It's nearly November.

It's been quite a while since I updated this blog (so much for my good intentions). We've been working on a tiny bit of remodeling of the house and taken over a great deal of my time. Charles textured the walls and repainted in the kitchen/dining room and I've been working on painting loteria card images on the cabinet doors and sewing curtains. I still have quite a bit of work to do but hopefully, it will be done by the holidays.
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I suppose we could finish jobs more easily if we didn't have so many occurring simultaneously. We've been working on the studio as well and have converted one of the bedrooms into the supply storage/my dressing area. So we've been tearing up the last of the carpeting, laying tile, painting and reorganizing, purging and repurposing.

I've also been working on some little projects for C&T Publishing - here are a few of them:





The beads will be coming out again this weekend. I need to finish up the last bits of the Bead Journal Project pieces for this year and get ready for the coming round. Registration is now open for the third round of the project so get yourself over to the website to read the details and sign up!